ALL MY SINGLE LADIES

I’ve realised that I am in a funny age group now. All around me there are women determined to find their one true love, marry them and have children before they hit thirty. Tick all the boxes, so to speak. Their insecurities are slowly poking through, insecurities they shouldn’t have, and they need to read this.

You need to learn to love yourself. 

Then, when you least expect it, that is when your knight in shining armour will come and sweep you off your feet.

The posts on Instagram #singlelife #wegotthis are all very well and good, but between that and the image of you done up to the nines with cleavage for Africa, even a stranger can see that you are lonely. Anyone who knows you understands how much you want a partner who thinks you are the world, but matching every man and his friends on Tinder and taking them all for a “walk in the park” is not the way to find love. Why is it that every man is going to be different? You see it time and time again how males work when you act in a way that shows little self-worth for yourself, they see you working your way through the crowd, show you a little attention, you take the bait and next you’ve just written another name in your little black book. It’s not open season, honey, and the hunt is tiring.

What is it about this day and age that requires the love of a man for a woman to be happy with herself? Why is it that women seek the approval of males around them? Confidence shines, girlfriend. You have a job, a family that loves you, a group of friends, plans for the future. Be proud of yourself and project that out to the world. That type of love is oh so infectious.

You don’t need a man to feel loved.

Look after you. Pamper yourself. Pop on some sexy lingerie and dance in front of the mirror. Wear that matching lingerie and take yourself out for lunch, alone. Learn to enjoy your own company and use that time wisely to set yourself some goals, to think and reflect, to focus on what makes you happy. The same goes for those of you who are unhappy in your relationship. What is holding you back from enjoying your life, and living it fully? You don’t deserve to be unhappy. You are not doomed if you happen to be single for a while. The future isn’t as scary as you work it up to be. Life always has it’s funny ways of working out, and I am one to whole heartedly believe that - I bet you’ve also heard that line a few times! You girl, are a strong, independent women and you can tackle the world on your own two feet. Go out there with that beaming smile of yours and get it!

SHE'S A GOAL DIGGER

** Cue the music **

I’d be lying if I said I could count the revisions of this post on one hand, for some odd reason talking about myself just doesn’t come naturally when I put pen to paper. This whole idea of this blog came about from injury, I had A LOT of time to kill after messing myself up in a car crash and I wanted to use my experience to inspire and educate others to improve their lifestyle and maintain it. Yet, it’s only now that I have found the drive to write consistently.

Not wanting to bore you with the long story, I sat on this post for a long time. It wasn’t until Sunday that I got some inspiration on a walk/run up to Godly Heads when Hubby to be took a photo of me – I managed to run more than 1km and I had abs. Yes, abs. I used to train twice a day and never had abs! Magic. Let's take a look at me looking tough with these babies, I'm pretty proud of what's come to the surface - it's taken a lot of mental and physical dedication.

Being body confident is such a huge thing for me. Gone are the days where breakfast consisted of chocolate milk and Kit Kat, present are the days where I just want to look fabulous over summer, be strong and feel damn good about myself. For me, before I went back to the gym I felt weak, I was weak, my booty was small and no longer toned. So, I decided to do something about it. The last five months has been only a small portion of my journey but I’ve noticed myself feeling more confident and accomplished with each goal I reach.

We all develop insecurities as we grow up. Not curvy enough, too much on the plus side, too muscly, too skinny, too hairy (amen to laser). No matter how much we know this act of body shaming needs to stop, we are so quick to tear ourselves apart right down to the smallest detail. But Why? It’s not going to make us any happier. Why is it that some of us need to wait until we hit rock bottom before we start to look after our bodies? It’s only going to add to the frustration when your milestones aren’t reached. Why not start now, pace yourself and ease into it?

We need to love ourselves, and part of that love needs to involve accepting our insecurities.  I’ve got broad shoulders and massive traps, in fact my nickname is “traps” but hey – I can’t do anything about that so why bother worrying? Focus on what you love about yourself, improve weaknesses where and if you can, and give yourself the confidence you deserve.

Back to those goals. I always had aspirations to compete in an Olympic Weightlifting competition, and a close friend of mine had recently made the transition from CrossFit to Weightlifting. I quickly followed her to Surge Performance and started training based solely around this – Goal one, complete. Within months, I competed in my first lifting competition – Goal two, check. And after a few more competitions goals three and four were achieved – I can now say I am just as strong as I was prior to my break, and I am five weeks away from competing in a National competition. I can’t run long distance (99% due to willpower) but, I feel strong and that’s what I wanted.

Had I not given myself small goals to accomplish, I really don’t think I would be sitting here writing this today. I made sure these goals were both achievable and measurable, and although I had a rough idea around timings, I didn’t set a timeframe around hitting them. The next goal was always in mind to keep me going. Looking back on previous months, weeks or even days is so important when it comes to reaching your goals and is something I constantly reflect on. Heck, five months ago I was struggling to lift a bar over my head, now I’m lifting a whole ME!

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to start. Just like me, just like the person you idolize most in this world. What’s holding you back? Why would you wait until six months before your wedding to start “shredding” – wouldn’t you be happier if you started now? We both know that your body will certainly feel better! And what about those aspirations you have? Aside from maybe money, what’s stopping you going out and making it happen? Start planning, start networking and talking to people about your ideas – you never know what will come out of a simple conversation.

Well, that's me, so... What are you going to do?

A LITTLE REFLECTION

Some days call for a little more reflection than others, and for me, today is one of those days. Those of you who have been following me for a while now will recall that a year ago we had a house fire that forced us out of our home for what was to be the next six months.

Now, we all know that things are never done by halves in my life, and on the same night our Labrador Ella gave birth to nine beautiful pups, about a week earlier than expected due to the stress of the evening. Today is their birthday, and I have been sent some sweet messages and images from their owners that absolutely made my day. Here's Cooper with his birthday cake!

I know I won't be the only one out there that feels like they haven't been able to hit the pause button all year, but I want to encourage you to grab a bath, a glass of wine and some music and take some time to reflect on what you have a achieved this year - you'll be so, so surprised!

THE WEDDING GUEST LIST "HOW TO" THAT WILL KEEP YOUR SANITY IN CHECK

IMAGE COURTESY OF STYLE ME PRETTY

The Wedding Guest List. It's been a big topic of conversation in our household, and is still on going! To help make your lives easier, here's a few questions we have asked ourselves about who to invite to our big day. I’ll kick us off with one we got from close friends of ours:

• Would you go to dinner with them, and I mean just them? This one helped us cull A LOT of people
• Will you be friends with them in 10 years?
• Do you see them regularly outside of work, gym, any activities?
• And, most importantly are they absolutely over the moon for you two to get married?

Then there’s the controversial additions:

Plus ones

The on again off again partner, the friend of the friend who will know nobody else at your wedding, the ex of another guest who always makes a scene. You don’t need to feel compelled to hand out a plus one to everybody. If it’s going to keep the peace, maybe consider inviting the partner to the reception, or even just for a boogie and a drink later on in the night.

The Longest Standing Friends

You’ve had them as long as you can remember, but these days it’s a rarity to see them. If your relationship has been drifting apart for years, don’t feel the urge to invite them – the likelihood is that they probably aren’t expecting an invitation to come their way. If you really feel the need to include them, consider an invite to your hens or stag party instead.

Your Parents Friends

Their kids went to school with your other siblings, or they’re part of a group your parents belong to. Either way, your parents are adamant they want their attendance. No matter who they are, if you never see them don’t feel pressured to invite them – unless of course your parents are paying for the wedding, then you’re on your own girlfriend.

Children

It’s your big day, so if that means you want an adults only ceremony, go ahead cut the children out of the picture. Do be sure to clearly state this on the invite, so it’s out in the open and people can make alternate arrangements. And besides, who wouldn’t be thankful for a night off from their kids!?

You were invited to their Wedding

Now, usually it would go without saying that you reciprocate the gesture, however if your friendship has significantly faded since their wedding, or you are limited by numbers, don’t feel pressured to add them to your guest list.

When I hold events, I typically invite everyone I can think of, and I’m careful not to exclude anyone – cause nobody likes to feel left out, right!? But, the buck stops here for your wedding day! If you’re unsure about someone, or if anyone is less than 110% happy for you, don't feel pressured to invite them – it’s a privilege to be on a wedding guest list, and people understand that there after often limitations around budgets and venue capacity. Don’t be afraid to be brutal, it's YOUR day. End. Of. Story.

Four Healthy Desserts That Taste Seriously Amazing!

OH boy, my sweet tooth is really coming out to play this week! I didn’t make a qualifying nationals total over the weekend, so I have to hold my weight until the next competition this Friday – Nothing but healthy eating for me, so that means getting creative with my food to keep the cravings down.

With that in mind, I wanted to share with you some of my favourite healthy recipes that cover a range of lifestyles and ACTUALLY taste amazing.

LISTED BELOW IN CLOCKWISE ORDER

HEMSLEY + HEMSLEY Apple Crumble with Ginger Crème

Having a gluten free family member means I am always on the lookout for scrumptious desserts. A couple of weeks ago I made this crumble, and minus cooking time it took me less than 10 minutes to whip together. A little squeeze of lemon juice across the apples, and the rest of the flavour is packed into the crumble. Perfect for a rainy day, and breakfast the next morning!

See the recipe here

DR LIBBY Raspberry and Macadamia Chocolate Torte

Probably the cleanest of the lot, this Torte is reasonably simple to make providing you have a food processor, but does need to be stored in the fridge. If you don’t quite feel ready to try the Avocado “Chocolate” Mousse, you could always substitute it for your own alternative – the base is still pretty tasty!

You'll have to purchase the eBook for this recipe here

Protein Mug Cakes

The perfect treat at the end of a hard day for one or two people. Have fun experimenting with different flavours until you find your favourite. Peanut butter, coffee, vanilla, orange and almond – anything goes!

See a couple of recipes here and here

Paleo Chocolate Lasagne – a little bit naughty but oh so good!

I’ve made this mouth-watering dessert a number of times now for family dinners and charity events. It’s OH so rich, goes such a long way and tastes far from healthy! I tend to pair it with some ice cream, or dairy free equivalent, but it’s just as good on its own. Definitely one to eat in moderation!

Recipe

Base

½ cup Butter or Coconut Oil

½ cup Coconut Oil

1⅓ cups Coconut Sugar

1 tsp Vanilla Extract

1 tsp Baking Powder

½ tsp Sea Salt

2 Eggs

½ cup Coconut Milk

¾ cup Cocoa Powder

1 cup Dark Chocolate Chips

1 cup Almond or Coconut Flour

Preheat oven to 180°C. Mix all of this together, pop into a lined tin and bake for 30-35 minutes.

Middle

200 gms Melted Chocolate

4 Eggs, Separated

100 gms Butter, Melted

2 tsp Coconut Sugar

Beat egg whites until soft peaks form. Add sugar and beat.

Place chocolate in a heat resistant bowl. Pop some water in a saucepan and place over heat. Put the bowl on top of the saucepan and melt over a gentle heat. Beat in the egg yolks and butter.

Add the chocolate mixture to the egg whites and fold through.

Pour on top of the base and chill.

Top 

Once chilled, top with whipped cream, chocolate chips and/or melted chocolate.

I'd love to hear what you think of any of these recipes, or if you would like to share your favourites please get in touch - I'm always on the look out for new kitchen inspiration!

The Kiwi DIY Bride

It’s a bit of an oxymoron, isn’t it? “Kiwi DIY” and “Bride” just don’t seem to gel the same way as “American DIY Bride”. We fall in love with an item on Etsy and then have our dreams dashed by the horrendous shipping costs, or the most perfect tutorial online is courtesy of items from Home Depot - it’s time to put a stop to that right here and now and embrace our Kiwi ingenuity.

Being a DIY Bride in New Zealand doesn’t have to be hard, it simply calls for a little more creativity and organisation. Some would think I am making things harder on myself by not utilising a wedding planner for our out of town wedding, yet here I am breaking the boundaries (We will see how that goes later down the track), and I want to show you how too.

Once you have the big things out of the way (see previous post here), it’s time to start thinking of a theme. Hopefully you will have a rough idea of what this is going to shape up like given you’ve already booked your venue, and your Pinterest board is probably chocka! If not, you can check mine out here.

At the top of my list to recommend is making your own stationary. I invested in a monthly subscription of Adobe Photoshop to make Save the Date cards myself, and invites are currently in production thanks to a huge helping hand from my Sister in Law to be, Lucy, from Magill Designs (now we have got the hang of Glyphs). If you don’t have a Photoshop expert at hand, YouTube is fantastic reference point for step by step tutorials. I'm using this subscription to make name and table number cards, seat reservation signs, programmes, menus, photo boards, Thank You cards – the list is endless!

If you have lots of time on your hands, you could make paper folds and envelopes yourself, but I will be purchasing these things. Etsy and AliExpress have great options, but if you want to support local like myself, and want a hassle free option that is similarly priced, head along to PINCPocketfolds. Remember to keep it simple, and you won’t have any issues at all.

Thrift shopping is another fantastic way to uncover relics and items for your wedding. From rustic, to chic, to glamorous there are so many perfect pieces just waiting to be dug up. Look at the bigger picture when it comes to some items, would a coat of paint or some floral decoration bring it back to life? For Christchurch Brides, Ferry Road/Woolston area have some absolutely fabulous shops to get you going. Dig around your Grandparents homes too, you might get lucky! I’ve also found some bargains on Trademe, and often save searches so I’m first to jump on bargain “Buy Now” auctions.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely know how to appreciate a beautiful bouquet of flowers, but for the budget conscious Bride, this can save you a small mountain of cash. You can put your bouquets yourself, or even with your Bridesmaids the night before the Wedding. Christchurch Brides, Moffat's are your go-to flower wholesaler for in season blooms, and the options are endless when it comes to tying them together. Lace, ribbon, hessian, small family heirlooms are just some ideas in this department.

Have you considered making your own Wedding favours? Homemade treats or preserves, scented candles, little succulents – the list is endless. Another fantastic idea is to simply donate the estimated cost of the favours and donate to your favourite charity. It’s a great way to give back and well received by guests.

All in all, anything goes when it comes to DIY. With time on your side, you can afford to chop and change things to better suit your theme and make your day all the more special. My key piece of advice? Accept all the help you can get, and enjoy the biggest party you will ever hold!

If you have any ideas, or want to ask any questions, do get in touch – I’d love to hear from you.

Bridezilla - Be Gone! Your Simplified Wedding Planning Guide

I just LOVE wedding planning. Being organised from day dot has certainly helped keep the stress levels down, and thank goodness, because my oh my have I heard some horror stories in recent times! I’m no expert, but I thought sharing a little of our experience, tips and tricks for keeping our wedding (and event) planning stress to an absolute minimum will hopefully assist you gorgeous Brides and Grooms to be.

First off, keep it simple. You don’t need a 24 page checklist to tick off month by month to plan your big day. Getting the big things out of the way (see below) makes for a far more enjoyable experience, and leaves far more time to potter along as needed.

Planning your big day can turn into a nightmare if you don’t sort the big items first, especially if you are wanting it in peak season. Even planning our wedding over a year out we found we were having to get nifty about securing some things (hello draining the bank account paying in advance). Bear in mind, we are getting married in Queenstown so the options are far more limited, but our “to book” list consisted of these:

• Venue (and rainy day plan)
• Celebrant
• Band
• Photographer
• Videographer (I must admit I only did this last month, but it was a mission finding availability)
• Guest Transport
• Accomodation
• Hair and Makeup Artists
• Flowers
• Cake (and caterers if required)

Secondary to this is of course the Dress, which if not taken off the rack can take a few months to arrive. Now, I never got that crying moment the Brides on TV have, but I think when my dress arrived last month and tried it on, in that moment I realised that this was real.

For us, it was important to get our Save the Dates out well ahead of a normal schedule as our big day is so conveniently tied in with the Motatapu race, and the NZ 2017 Golf Open, so small town accommodation was going to become an issue very quickly.

Once all this was out of the way, we could breathe again. You won’t all be the same, but this whole process has become a bit of a hobby of mine. I’m constantly pinning ideas (@mamatoldme), have favourited searches on Trademe for items new and old, am scouring fashion sites for dresses, suits and shoes – all of which I can highly recommend, especially if you are not having a wedding planner like myself.

Below are some of my favourite blog sites, bursting with inspiration for weddings of all budgets:

Style me Pretty

Paper and Lace

Something Turquoise

DIYBride

Auckland/Wellington Weddings

Just under seven months out and invitations are underway, rings are purchased, and the initial appointment for suits is today.

A lot to digest, but I hope some of you beautiful Brides and Grooms to be have something to take away from this wee post. Let me know if you would like to see more on the progress front, or have any questions for Mama.

Congratulations, Enjoy, and Good Luck!